Complaints
by Durgas Dragon
Summary: The life of a GF just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be…Just a bunch of ficlets that came to me one night when I was running low on sleep. Be warned, you might not like some of the portrayals or some of the subject matter.
1. Quetzacotl

**Complaints**

**_Disclaimer_****_: Me poor writer.  No have money.  No own characters.  No good to sue._**

**_Summary_****_: The life of a GF just ain't what it's cracked up to be…Just a bunch of ficlets that came to me one night when I was running low on sleep.  They originally started out being funny, but I think some of them have lost their humour as they took a dive into the darker side of things.  Be warned, you might not like some of the portrayals or some of the subject matter._**

**_Feedback_****_: Complaints?  Compliments?  Let me know!!_**

**_Rating_****_: R  (For adult situations, language, and violence)_**

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**                                                                                [1] _Quetzacotl_**

Everything was all fine and dandy until THEY came along and ripped me out of my computer.  They suck me there in the first place, denying me the right to fly among the storm clouds, and expected me to be HAPPY about this all!!

                Don't get me wrong, I ain't a whiner.  I made the best of my situation instead of bitchin' about it like some OTHERS that I know.  I mean, the computer RAN off of electricity, so I could do whatever the hell I wanted with it.  I even deleted that big jerk's paper once because the idiot hadn't saved and I sent a power surge through the computer.  It wasn't even that good of a paper, anyhow.  Filled with tons of 'ya'know's'.  Anyone who would pass that dip was even dumber than he was.

                And then there was the internet!!!

                I had just figured out how work this great thing called the web and I was checkin' out these great pictures when they just yanked me right out!!  Just like that!!  No warning, no apology, nuthin'!

                And then I found myself bound this greasy little git's brain!  And I was just suppose to come whenever he called to kick some monster's butt because HE was too lazy to do it himself!

                He also used me.  ME!!  Dug through MY brain and took all this stuff for him to use like I was a TOWEL or something!!  Just so he could impress a few girls with his skill at cards and the amount of punches he could take before he needed to heal himself!

                It was thoroughly disgusting.

                And the worse thing about the whole thing is I found the little creep GROWING on me!!  Like tumour!  I found myself actually beginning to WORRY what might happen to the little bastard and his stupid friends!!  How pathetic is that?!?

                I can't believe myself.


	2. Shiva

**[2] _Shiva_**

                Paint.

                Blue paint.

                _Strategically_ placed blue paint.

                That's it.

                What the HELL were they thinking?!

                I'll give you it shows off my perfect figure nicely, but it's PAINT for Hyne's sake!!  I'm an ICE GODDESS!!  Whatever happened to the sex appeal of fur and velvet?!

                I feel so…_dirty_.  Like I should be working someplace else.  And getting paid a _hell_ of a lot money.  

                And it wouldn't even be so bad if there were just some _decent_ guys around to appreciate me!  Someone to appreciate the beauty of the freeze, the seduction of the ice.

                But _noooooo_.  There's no one here to enjoy me!  I'm just here to maybe populate the wet dreams of some teenaged kids!  Just because I'm encased in a bunch of ice doesn't mean I don't want _some_ form of warm touch!  All those dumb kids…

                And that damn sock-puppet of a bird doesn't help at all.  First it was 'quit your bitchin' and go away' when we stuck in that stupid computer.  Then it was 'my human is worse than yours will ever be'.  And now that stupid sparrow-wannabe is trying to tell me that we need to help those little horny twits out!  I think the only reason he says that is because he's managed to convince his human that the internet is Hyne's better half, so now all they do is play with that.  What a friggin' loser.

                Ifrit's no better.  He ogles along with them and makes stupid chauvinistic comments.  Gods, I think I hate him most of all.  He's loud, over-bearing, over-muscled, and he emanates heat worse then a bloody fire does!

                Gods.  Just…go…AWAY!!!


	3. Ifrit

**[3] _Ifrit_**

Couldn't tell ya how angry I was for bein' weak enough ta be taken by a scrawny pubescent freak.  I mean, look at me.  I've got fingers bigger then that wuss's shoulders.  I've got hell backin' me, baby!  It shouldn't have even been a problem.

                And then to add insult to injury, I got stuck in the mind of some fuckin' female.  Girl should be at home in the kitchen, not tryin' ta play a man's game in a man's world.  Girls' don't gots what it takes, any half-brained fool could tell ya that.

                It was bad, but then I got moved to some other worthless human's head, and then I found things ta be better.  Ol'Quetz had been workin' on this bastard for a while, and he showed me the next best thin' ta gettin' laid.  Apparently, some humans' ain't so useless after all.  And the varity o'it all!  Oh yeah….

                The Ice Bitch has got that look on her face again.  She's always lookin' down on us for findin' use with our human.  It a shame she's such a bitch; she's got a bod good for copin' a feel.  I'll bet I could show her some things, like her place ain't here.  Give me some time, and I could make her realise her place is bed, preferable MY bed.

                The only person the Ice Bitch is even remotely nice to is the Winged Slut, who's no better than she is.  Seems ta think that I ain't worth her time either.  I think they're either plottin' against us or they're lesbians.  Ain't no other reason for them ta resist me.

                Hmm…if they lezs, I wanna see them get it on.  I better start watchin' them…I might get a live show.


	4. Siren

**[4] _Siren_**

I _swear_, I've done everything that I can think of to get her to notice me.  Short of grabbing her shoulders and screaming 'I've got the fuckin' hots for you!' in her face, I don't know what to do any more.  I'm out of ideas.

                I'm right here!  Look over here!

                I mean, I've tried _everything_.  I've tried the subtle looks, the 'accidental' brush, the sway in my walk, the winks with my greetings to her, the scanty clothing, _everything_.  She STILL won't even give me a second glance.

                Give me one chance, one glance, is that too much to ask?

                And I can't figure it out!  What's there not to like about me?  I have space by the sea, I can sing and play the harp, and I know the value of silence.  How many guys out there do you think really know that, huh?  I know none of the guys _here_ know that virtue and the humans most definitely don't know the power behind it.

                Just glance my way, please!  Just one look….

                It's the wings, isn't it?  The wings on my head turn her off, don't they?  And I bet that she doesn't like my feathers…maybe if I show some more cleavage she'll look at me, do more than just coolly sulk by herself.

                I'm right here…please let your gaze linger…just for a moment…

                At least she's that cold with everyone and not just me.  She's just as disgusted with everyone here as I am.  You would think that will all the testosterone flying around she'd gravitate towards me so she could take comfort in our womanhood.  I could do so much more if she would _talk_ to me, just opened up a little bit…

                WHY won't she look at me?!


	5. Brothers

**[5] _Brothers_**

**                Hrumph.  I just want to win…something, I don't know what, and I'm beginning to think that I don't care what either.  I just wanna win.  I didn't win against the humans, I never win against my brother, and I can't beat the green gerbil or that windbag in any game I play them in.  It's not fair!**

**                I'd say they'd were cheating, but Cerberus would have told me.  Cerberus is nice like that.  Plus, he's got three heads so he can see everyone's hands.  It makes things easier that way.**

**                I don't like Quetzacotl much.  He keeps promising me that he'll teach me how to play that card game that the humans are always playing, but he never does.  I think he just says that to me to make me go away, but I can't be sure.**

**                And I wish they'd spot calling me 'loser'.  It's not nice.  It's not my fault that I don't have any luck.  One of these days, I'm going to get one of those luck raising things that the humans are always drinking and see if that will help me.  Maybe then I'll win something.**

**                It'd be nice to win, even if it was just once.  It wouldn't have to be much.  I'd be happy with a small victory, one that would show everyone else that I'm not a complete loser.**


	6. Diablos

**[6] _Diablos_**

YOU try living in a tiny little jar for a while and see how good-natured YOU'D be.  All I get it 'quit your bitchin'' and 'oh, cry me a river!  At least YOU didn't have to be stuck in a computer/Elynole's head/monster-ridden catacomb/ugly shumi's head!'

                They don't get it.  They just DON'T GET IT.  In all of those places, there was someone or something WITH them!  They weren't left alone with their thoughts for centuries!  With nothing to tell you how long you've been there, nothing to distract you, nothing to do but think about the cramps you'll have if you ever get out and sleep as best you can in such a restricted space.

                And let me tell you right now, when you do get to sleep, you don't go around ignoring it.  It's sporadic at best, and it's a brief moment of peace from the deep moments of uncomfort that make up my existence.  I bet if those dumb humans had woken me up when I was awake, I would have just junctioned myself to them straightaway, no questions, no complaints.  Anything to let me stretch my wings a little, anything to get out of there and to a place with some stimulation.

                It was fun for a bit.  There was people and GF's to see, ones I haven't seen in years.  Unfortunately, being by yourself for such a long time does something to you, and you start finding yourself with a wide berth around you.  Talking with yourself to fill the silence isn't normal, apparently.  People skills go down the crapper after a bit, and you find it really hard to find some of the things that happen that will get everyone else buzzing don't really keep your interest.  It all starts seeming shallow and empty after a while.

                Almost makes me wonder if I'm really better off now then I was earlier.


End file.
